Tips for Teens on How to Protect their eyes from Haram

It’s hard, especially when you’re a teenager and bombarded with images of sexuality: that hot-looking scantily clad guy or gal in the magazine, in and around you in school , college grinning at you and luring you; or the persistent emphasis on sex in the movies (even cartoon movies these days !); or the pervasive links to pornography and ad banners that pop up while you may simply be checking your e-mail or researching something for school. How does a young Muslim protect him or herself from all of this? Below are some tips that can help:

Tip 1. Know what is Halal (lawful) and what’s not
We may think only hard core pornography is Islamically unacceptable. This is not true. Improperly dressed men and women, sexual situations, foreplay, kissing, touching, dirty jokes: none of these are Islamically acceptable. Talk to a trusted Muslim friend, family member of the same gender or an Imam about this. Bring it up and ask them to give you the Islamic perspective.

Tip 2. Remember your accountability to Allah
In America and some other countries, you’re fully responsible for your actions when you turn 18. In Islam, you’re fully accountable as soon as you understand these things. So that means that from that point onwards, you cannot assume looking at this stuff is no big deal. Your eyes will testify about what you looked at on the Day of Judgment. Remember that Allah is always watching. He is Most Just and Merciful, and He rewards us for the good and punishes us for the bad we do.

Tip 3. Become conscious of the Haram (unlawful)
Too often, it’s easy to dismiss that billboard with the spandex-and-bikini-top-clad blonde girl advertising gum, or the guy in tight leather pants and no shirt advertising perfume. When you see it, remember the Islamic perspective, your accountability to Allah, and lower your gaze. Do the same for television and the internet. If you keep doing this, insha-Allah, it’ll become a habit, and eventually an automatic reaction.

Tip 4. If feeling overwhelmed, remember Allah
In situations where you feel overwhelmed and can’t get yourself to switch the channel, close the browser window or turn your eyes away from the billboard, ask Allah’s help. You don’t necessarily need any heavy duty, long Dua’s. “La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah” (there is no power or ability except with Allah) is short, simple, and reminds you who is really in control and can help you out of this.

Tip 5. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan
Shaitan lured you into this mess. Seeking refuge in Allah (saying awthu/awoozoo billahi minash Shaitan ir rajeem), will help you resist him and his whisperings to continue looking at the material.

Tip 6. Get up and leave
If you feel unable to control looking at the screen or the magazine, leave the situation. Get out of the living room, your bedroom where the internet is, or where you’ve been reading the magazine. Take a walk. Just do something to physically get out of the situation.

Tip 7. Avoid those involved in pornography
If one of your friends is into pornographic magazines, websites, dirty jokes etc. either help him or her change through gentle and sincere advice, or abandon frequent contact with them. Their compulsion will affect you, so it’s best to stay as far away as possible, by remembering the danger to yourself, your Deen, and your relationship with Allah.

Tip 8. Stay away from places where it’s found
Sometimes it’s on a billboard on a highway and you can’t miss it. But often times, you’ll notice certain parts of your city (the seedier ones) tend to be filled with this kind of material (where there are usually strip joints, for example). Avoid these places as much as you can. If it’s on your way to school, try to change your route. Also, in summer, stay away from the beach.

Tip 9. Surf or watch TV when others are around
The temptation to sneak a look at dirty pictures or that bikini-clad babe is heightened when you’re alone in your room watching television or surfing the internet. Try to avoid late night TV and internet surfing. Instead, watch or surf when others are around so you can resist the urge to sneak a peek, thinking no one’s watching (and remember Allah is always watching). It is a good idea not to have TV or computer in the bedroom anyway. Living room or study room is a better place for this stuff.

Tip 10. Remember your example
If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example you’re setting for them. What message will they get if they barge into your room and catch you watching Baywatch or flipping through Playboy.

Tip 11. For brothers, remember your mom and sister
Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way many of us look at the Baywatch babes or the girls on the internet or in magazines. Remember mom and your sister, and that should sicken you enough to stop, insha-Allah.

Tip 12. Have someone watch over you
If you really feel you’re becoming addicted to this kind of material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don’t have to tell them why you’re doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material. After all, Shaitan tempts us most easily when we’re alone. Sitting in the company of a family member or good Muslim friend will insha Allah, help.

Tip 13. Fast
The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material.

Tip 14. Do Tawba and return to Allah
If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deed to compensate for that sin. He is All-Forgiven as long as you are sincere.

Tip 15. Repent again and fine yourself
If you lapse, do tawba again. Allah is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising to yourself that if I did it again, I will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.
The message is that don’t give up on yourself. Keep trying. Struggle is life. Shaitan could be creative. And with the help of Allah, you will be the winner insha Allah.

Dua’s to Remove Depression and Worries

Mankind comes across many afflictions and trials, sometimes in overwhelming sequences.  Removing the darkness of these worries, distresses, depression and grief is a very important matter to which Islaam gives serious attention…There are many authentic Dua’s and Supplication from Hadith which can help us remove anxieties according to Islam. If we are feeling depressed, we should strengthen our belief in Allah and predestination (Qada wa Qadar) and recite these supplication for depression and worries.

 

First of all we should know that the greatest darkness is disbelief in Allah and to associate partners with Him. Whoever associates partners with Allah will always remain in darkness and thus feel depressed. Allah says in Holy Quran:

“Allah is the Protector of those who have faith He will lead them from the depths of darkness into light. . As for those who disbelieve, their patrons are the devils: from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be companions of the  fire, to dwell therein (for ever). ” (QURAN, SURAH AL-BAQARAH 2.257)

 

It was narrated that Suhayb said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and it something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”

(Narrated by Muslim, 2999)

This world should not be the main concern of the Muslim. Worry about his provision should not find any room in his heart or mind, lest that make his sickness and his anxiety worse.

It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510).

REMEDY FOR DEPRESSION AND WORRIES

The scholars of Islaam have extracted from the Qur’aan and the authentic Sunnah many remedies and cures to help us in our daily affairs and remove our problems.

1. It was reported that the Prophet (PBUH) used to recite this Dua:

اللّهُـمَّ رَحْمَتَـكَ أَرْجـوفَلا تَكِلـني إِلى نَفْـسي طَـرْفَةَ عَـيْن، وَأَصْلِـحْ لي شَأْنـي كُلَّـه لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أنْـت

“O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment). Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship but You.” (Abu Dawud 4/324, Ahmad 5/42. Al-Albani graded it as good in Sahih Abu Dawud 3/959.)

2. In al-Saheehayn it was reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah (Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when he felt distressed:

لا إلَهَ إلاَّ اللَّهُ الْعَظـيمُ الْحَلِـيمْ، لا إلَهَ إلاَّ اللَّهُ رَبُّ العَـرْشِ العَظِيـمِ، لا إلَهَ إلاَّ اللَّهُ رَبُّ السَّمَـوّاتِ ورّبُّ الأَرْضِ ورَبُّ العَرْشِ الكَـريم

“La ilaaha ill-Allaah al-‘Azeem ul-Haleem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb il-‘arsh il-‘azeem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb is-samawaati wa Rabb il-ard wa Rabb il-‘arsh il-kareem”

“There is no god except Allaah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allaah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne; there is no god except Allaah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne.” (Al-Bukhari 8/154, Muslim 4/2092, )

3. It was reported from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when something upset him:

“Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom, bi Rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever-Living One, O Everlasting One, by Your mercy I seek help).”

4. It was reported that Asmaa’ bint ‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me:

“Shall I not teach you some words to say when you feel distressed?

اللهُ اللهُ رَبِّ لا أُشْـرِكُ بِهِ شَيْـئاً

‘Allaah, Allaah, Rabbee laa ushriku bihi shay’an’

Allaah, Allaah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him (Abu Dawud 2/87. See also Al-Albani, Sahih Ibn Majah 2/335.)

5. It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:

للّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أِوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي، وَنورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي

‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi’

“O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety”

but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.” (Ahmad 1/391)

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Retaining Our Spirituality After Ramadhaan

We enrolled 30 days in a course called Ramadhaan to reach “Taqwah”(Fear of Allah Ta’ala). It was a time of renewal and re-establishment of our commitment to our Beloved ALLAH TA’ALA and HIS beautiful Deen-ul-Islaam. Al-Hamdulillah! Many have graduated with flying colours – embracing them with positive Deeni (Islamic)changes. Now is a crucial time to put it into practice!

Beloved Reader! We fasted, gave charity, read the Qur’aan Kareem and performed the night especially the last ten, standing in prayer before ALLAH TA’ALA. We avoided gossip, slander and every evil that would invalidate our fasting. But now that Ramadhaan has bid us farewell, many of us, regrettably, will put the Qur’aan Kareem back on the shelves, will suspend fasting until next year and will abandon the night prayer. This is not the way it should be, because all of these acts of worship carry rewards and are of benefit to us throughout the year, in addition to the fact there is no divine prescription limiting them to Ramadhaan.

What is it that happens in Ramadhaan to make you so motivated to change your life around and how can you get that spirit back to make long lasting, sustainable changes in your life? What is it that ALLAH TA’ALA  puts into your life to enable you to make all those changes in Ramadhaan? If we could examine that, maybe we’ll find clues to work out how we can make the Ramadhaan spirit last for more than 30 days, so you can make major sustainable changes in your life!

 

RAMADHAAN CHANGES

1. Purpose

ALLAH TA’ALA TA’ALA give us an amazing purpose, a powerful reason for fasting, HE says it so beautifully:

“All the deeds of the son of Aadam (Alaihis Salaam) are for him: the good deeds will be multiplied ten times to seven hundred times, except fasting, which is for ME and I will reward it accordingly.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Al-Hamdulillah! He gives us all hope of His Reward for abandoning food, drink and intimacy for HIS Sake in Ramadhaan.

2. Long Term Vision

HE also gives us a long-term vision of what we will achieve if we follow HIS Orders and avoid the things that HE has forbidden – HE could grant us, according to our intentions, the highest place in Jannah.

3. Structure and Organization

HE gives us clear rules and a daily structure for Ramadhaan to give us a specific rhythm to the month – with a few exceptions and some flexibility such as a change in the pattern of the days for the last 10 nights – but there are definite targets that we have to fulfil throughout.

4. Challenging and Slightly Unrealistic Goals

The non-Muslims often look at what we do in Ramadhaan and say that we are being extreme, that we shouldn’t be as harsh on ourselves as we are. But we are able to rise above their criticism and not pay attention to what they say, because we know that ALLAH TA’ALA never asks us to do anything that would be harmful for us. We are convinced of the value and benefits of our fasting and Qiyaam and that enables us to stretch ourselves.

5. Balance

In Ramadhaan, it’s not only our bodies that are cleansed through fasting, our spirituality is also improved through increased Salaah and reading of the Qur’aan Kareem. Our finances are cleansed through Zakaah, our social relationships are improved through coming together for Iftaar, and our social contribution is increased through extra Sadaqah. The Ramadhaan spirit is developed through a balanced increase in every area of life, with each aspect having its own timing, amount, and purpose.

In welcoming Ramadhaan and bidding it farewell are some points of reflection for the Mu’mineen: Is there for us in fasting an abundance portion of effort to reform ourselves and mend our ways? Yes! It is indeed an excellent period of reflection if one ponders over the sincerity of his/her intention and appropriateness of his/her acts of worship during the blessed month.

Gentle and Discerning Reader! A whole new beautiful chapter in your life has opened – of peace, happiness, blessings and mercy with an elated feeling of spirituality, connecting with ALLAH TA’ALA and being immersed in HIS love, Subhaan-ALLAH. Fear ALLAH TA’ALA as HE should be feared for, the fear of ALLAH TA’ALA is the best treasure for you. Obey ALLAH TA’ALA and keep away from HIS restrictions, you will achieve HIS pleasure and be saved from HIS torment. On tasting the sweetness that comes with obedience, there is no desire to return to any form of disobedience.

A sinful desire is like a rose from afar, we get allured by its fragrance, become blinded by its beauty, and overlook the thorns.

Don’t allow Shaitaan to be an anchor and halt your spiritual journey. Raise the sails of Imaan to reach the beautiful shores of Jannah. Would you rather invest for short term returns, or would it be more sensible to invest for everlasting returns? Don’t let the chains of desire (naffs & shaitaan), bind us to Dunya whilst restraining our soul from pursuing Jannah. May ALLAH TA’ALA make our hearts the throne upon where our Imaan will sit, and let it rule over our Naffs before it tries to enslave us…

 

WAYS TO MAINTAIN THE GOOD HABITS YOU PICKED DURING RAMADHAAN:

► Make Du’a

It was ALLAH TA’ALA who gave you the ability to keep the good habit in Ramadhaan, and only HE can help you maintain it afterwards. Make Du’a that ALLAH TA’ALA helps you not only keep the habit, but that HE accepts it and makes it a way for you to grow in closeness to HIM

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► Make it a Habit

If you want to keep good habits, you’ve got to make sure they remain part of your daily schedule. For instance, fasting. Our beloved Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) encouraged fasting on Mondays and Thursdays? He said: “A man’s deeds are reported (to ALLAH TA’ALA) on Mondays and Thursdays and I prefer that I should be fasting when my deeds are reported.” (Tirmidhi)

► Evaluate yourself Weekly

This helps you see the bigger picture. You’ll be able to evaluate on a more long-term level how well you’ve been keeping your habit in practice. You can do the same thing on a monthly and yearly basis.

► Don’t fall apart once you make one Mistake

The beauty of Taubah (repentance) in Islaam, is that ALLAH TA’ALA blesses us with this opportunity to return back to HIM after doing something wrong. We should remember that we are humans and that we will err. Only ALLAH TA’ALA is Perfect.

► Ask yourself WHY you kept the habit

Niyyah or intention is a key to ALLAH TA’ALA’S acceptance of our good deeds. If we developed a habit to impress others, for instance, we may be able to keep the momentum for a while, but most probably it’ll wear out afterwards.

But if we maintained a habit sincerely for the sake of ALLAH TA’ALA, Inshaa-ALLAH , not only will we be rewarded for it, but our intention will help us maintain the necessary motivation to continue to do good.

► Work your Way up slowly

Aa’ishah (RadhiAllah Ta’alau Anha) reported that Rasulullah said: “Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and remember that you shall enter Paradise only through ALLAH TA’ALA’S Mercy, and also remember that the most beloved deed to ALLAH TA’ALA is that which is regular and constant even if it is little.” (Al-Bukhari)

The wisdom in this Hadith is tremendous and it is one way of keeping up good habits you have picked up in Ramadhaan.

For example, let’s say you were motivated to read Qur’aan Kareem for half-an-hour on a daily basis in Ramadhaan. But now that it’s over, you feel sluggish, lazy and want to give it up. Yet, you had wanted to maintain this habit after the blessed month was over.

Instead of trying to read Qur’aan Kareem for the same amount of time, reduce the time period to as much as you are initially able to do, even if it’s just ten or twenty minutes a day.

If you keep up this ‘ten minutes a day’ habit, Inshaa-ALLAH TA’ALA, you will see the amount of Qur’aan Kareem you read will increase slowly but gradually, perhaps even surpassing your Ramadhaan maximum in the long-term, Inshaa-ALLAH !

Beloved Reader! Be steadfast and upright upon the Deen of ALLAH TA’ALA at all times, for you do not know when you’ll meet the Angel of Death. Beware of him taking you while you are in a state of sin. Forgiveness are always billowing around us, but we must raise the sails of remorse and repentance, to feel it. Now is the time to reprogram your life, rise up and get rid of the negativities, develop your potential, plan and execute, change and get changed, and you will become one of those gain happiness and blessings in this life and enjoy the bliss of the Hereafter, Inshaa-ALLAH TA’ALA! Be sure that reform is possible, seek help from our loving ALLAH TA’ALA, and do not feel unmotivated or lacking in strength.

May ALLAH TA’ALA accept our fasting, our Ibaadah and  other righteous actions, that our condition after Ramadhaan be a better one, the state of our Ummah improves and that we are granted honour and submit to HIS obedience. ..Aameen

Enjoy your Eid by remaining consistent on the those good deeds and keep away from undesirable things that are capable of removing ALLAH TA’ALA’S favours from you. One of our righteous predecessors said:

“Each day in which no act of disobedience to ALLAH TA’ALA is committed is Eid and each day a believer spent in acts of obedience to his Lord is Eid.”

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